When my friend was in fourth grade her teacher asked for an example of irony, and she answered “Harry Potter searching for the final horcrux, but he is the final horcrux” and her teacher started screaming and said “I DIDN’T FINISH THE BOOK OH MY GOD!”
My sister has gone batshit and is standing in the garden, screaming for the dog (who regularly crosses the boundary into my neighbour’s garden) to come back. I think she may damage her voicebox. So glad that absolutely everybody is home in the neighbouring houses to hear her lose her shit about something inconsequential.
“I spent like 10 years of my life pretending to fly around on a broomstick and you’re asking me if preparing for a love scene was ‘tricky’ because the other person also had a penis?”—Daniel Radcliffe (via hankgreensmoustache)
a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)